Journalist and military advocate, Lily Casura, went to bat for a young soldier who had lost all hope for help towards a livable life. She showed her dedication to the healing of our military suffering from the invisible and very visible wounds of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. We will see more and more of “our” veterans who, like the young veteran Lily assisted, are far removed from DoD and VA service centers. I know I have seen military members who have had their trusted clinicians changed without their knowledge, their benefits altered without warning and no immediate provisions made for a warm handoff to another qualified clinician. It takes time to build trust and a therapeutic alliance. When a military service member feels like that trust is not honored, they do like many of us; they simply stop in their tracks. It is individuals like Lily who say, “No, this is not right. This will not do.” And they make sure that others outside the VA and DoD who can help, do just that. There are so many who need help, the VA simply cannot be everywhere. That means each and every one of us must take up the slack and make sure our troops and veterans get the care they need. Sometimes that means listening and asking questions, doing some research and asking more questions. Just don’t give up – on the process or on the service member. If you need to get more resources, the American Legion is a terrific source. Lily’s website, http://www.healingcombattrauma.com, has a plethora of blogs, books and resources. Go there and be informed. It takes all of us to heal this village of America. If you want to know how to form a suicide prevention peer support for anyone you are worried about, go to https://www.jsp3.org. Or you can read more about it in “Just Because You’re Suicidal Doesn’t Mean You’re Crazy”.     If you need help, do what Lily did, step in and do it. This is going to take all of us getting involved. And thanks to all who do what they can.

Unfortunately there weren’t as many people at the walk as were expected. The rain kept many people away. Who wants to walk in the cold pelting rain? But the volunteers were all there, bright and early. The entire field was set up and organized by Jo McNeal, Pacific Northwest Area Director of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I know it might have been a disappointment for some to have so few attendees compared to what was expected. However, that was not the case for us, the contingent from the Jensen Suicide Prevention Peer Protocol (The JSP3©).  When Terry, Angel and I met today before the event began, we noticed there were far fewer attendees than we had planned for. We looked at each other and agreed, that means the ones that are here are the exact individuals who are supposed to be here. This is a rare opportunity. Oftentimes I’ll take great pains to provide the very optimum of supplies, etc., and take hours, sometimes days to prepare for an event. And, on occasion, only a few participants show up – the important thing is that the people who do show up are precisely the right ones. As we huddled at our rain soaked booth, giving out free literature including copies of my book, “Just Because You’re Suicidal Doesn’t Mean You’re Crazy”, we spoke to people who seemed typically hesitant to say much in the way of self-disclosure. We have learned through experience to suggest, “You can read the book so you can understand what causes and perpetuates suicidal thought. You can then bring the book and our booklets on how to help form a peer support group for battle buddies to whoever you think might be struggling with suicidality.” In the midst of the initial milling around while everyone was preparing for the opening assembly, I told my colleagues, Terry and Angel, “Watch for the special one the Lord sends us. He or she will come and you’ll know immediately who that special one is.” And he did come. He came first to visit shortly before the walk. He was unusual in that he told us, “I know what this is like, ‘feeling crazy because you don’t understand your own suicidal thoughts’. I was suicidal and now I’m not – I have a new life. I’m very lucky. I’d like a copy of your book to share with my buddies and my family.”  I replied, “Of course, and we’ll keep it dry for you to pick up when you return from the walk.” He came back and we talked. His eyes welled with tears as I warned him when his suicidal thoughts come back, he could find out what to do about it in the book. He could  form a peer support safety net for himself NOW, so when it gets tough he’ll have it in place. He then knew that I knew the thoughts had not gone, that they were still with him every day. And that I knew what that was like. AND, that I learned how to deal with it through peer support and he could, too. Perhaps he knew I knew that he still struggled. But that’s not important. What’s important is a connection happened and he knew I had an answer to his anguish. (You, too, can find the answer and more about peer support for suicide prevention at https://www.jsp3.org.) In the middle of our conversation, I heard a “ka-ching” ring in my head. He was the one the Lord sent – he was the special one. So many more may have heard bits and pieces and a few may have gotten what they needed but there is always one who brings the “ka-ching”, the Lord’s message that a divine connection has been made. This is what I live for.

 Based on 6 myths about suicide. More information can be found at www.jsp3.org or in the book, “Just Because You’re Suicidal Doesn’t Mean You’re Crazy”. by Randi Jensen, MA, LMHC, CCDC, The myth that suicide is a short term decision. – TRUTH: Suicidality is a continuing progression of thought driven by feel good endorphins. It is a long-term coping mechanism.  TODAY YOU CAN…not admonish them but tell them it is not their fault. Help them understand how their suicidal thought has progressed over time based on conditioned response to the relieving thoughts of “not being here”. The myth that suicidality is depression and that all suicidal people are sad. – TRUTH: Suicidal people try very hard to lead a normal life. They have a life undulating between sadness and joy, like everyone else. TODAY YOU CAN…believe them, be calm, reassuring, and withhold acting in the extreme when they tell you they are thinking of suicide. The myth that suicidal people selfishly choose to kill themselves. TRUTH: Suicidal people have no idea why they cannot stop thinking about suicide. TODAY YOU CAN…remind them it is not their fault. It is neurobiological and it can be remedied by retraining the brain. The myth that the end to suicidality is mind over matter. TRUTH: When suicidal people understand what is going on in their brains neurobiologically, they are free of shame and blame and can understand what they need to do to live.  TODAY YOU CAN…explain to them the answer is in a mutual effort to help problem-solve and retrain the brain. You have resources and can help (www.jsp3.org). The myth that suicidal people do not tell anyone they are suicidal. TRUTH: Suicidal people always tell someone somehow. TODAY YOU CAN…Listen. Keep an open mind and a nonjudgmental attitude so people will be inclined to confide in you. The myth that faith alone will end suicide. – TRUTH:  Faith in a higher power is a powerful benefit but without efforts to problem-solve and retrain the brain, their suicidality will disable and continue to plague them. TODAY YOU CAN…aid their salvation by helping them combine the power of faith with the committed peer support of the JSP3© (Jensen Suicide Prevention Peer Protocol). Help them not fear their suicidality, but understand it and learn how to retrain their brains (www.jsp3.org). References National Center for Injury Prevention and Control. (WISQARS): www.cdc.gov/ncipc/wisqars                                                                                http://forums.psychcentral.com/depression/10363-coping-suicide-ideation.html                                                                                                   Center for Disease Control and Prevention,  http://www.cdc.gov/ace/findings.htm   http://forums.psychcentral.com/depression/65258-suicidal-ideation.html                                                                                                             Jensen, R. 2012. Just Because You’re Suicidal Doesn’t Mean You’re Crazy: The Psychobiology of Suicide.      http://www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_help.htm                                                                                                                                               http://my.clevelandclinic.org/healthy_living/stress_management/hic_warning_signs_of_emotional_stress_when_to_see_your_doctor.aspx Download to your E-reader                   http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/209400                                                                                                 Online Orders shipped to you at  http://www.thirdplacebooks.com/just-because-youre-suicidal-doesnt-mean-youre-crazy-randi-j-jensen-ma-lmhc-ccdc

There are some fundamental aspects of suicidality that I have learned through my research and decades of counseling suicidal people.  Find out more in my book, “Just Because You’re Suicidal Doesn’t Mean You’re Crazy“. Suicidality is amazingly common1 The action is usually impulsive and acute however the thought pattern that sets it in motion is chronic2 It has its basis in adverse childhood experiences3 The process is completely unconscious4 Thinking about suicide becomes an excellent and successful coping mechanism5 When faced with overwhelming situations which can’t be resolved by the individual (one feels helpless) This causes stress – elevated cortisol which creates the need for relief Thoughts of “not being here” repeatedly bring on the relief of “feel good” endorphins Repeated “feel good” endorphins build a thought neural pathway which gets more entrenched over time “Not being here” progresses to “Not being anywhere” (suicide) in order to bring relief (the need for increased endorphins to achieve the same relief)5 Suicidal thought operates as a coping mechanism for dealing with overwhelming difficulty, however, sooner or later it becomes a negative and destructive pattern that prevents problem solving6 The progression is totally unconscious Suicidal people do not know where their suicidality came from or why it continues2,4,5 Suicidal people are convinced by society that there is something inexplicably wrong with them2,4,5 Suicidal people have no natural insight into how to defeat their suicidality2,4,5 Suicidal people do not know that their “not wanting to be here” neural pathway is permanent5 Suicidal people do not know that their negative emotions are warning signs that they have a problem needing immediate attention towards solution7 Suicidal people do not know that they can solve any problem with the help of an educated support system5 The Conspiracy of Denial is the one thing that promotes suicidality. What is The Conspiracy of Denial5? – Common attitudes, beliefs, and actions that innocently deny a person’s suicidality. People usually deny the reality of a person’s suicidality because they do not want to believe that this person would consider such a drastic thing. After all, why would people who do not think about suicide think anyone else would? To them, it is truly “unthinkable”. “A non-suicidal person can only see why a person would want to live. A suicidal person has difficulty giving those reasons more value than the promise of escaping the pain of existence.”  (Just Because You’re Suicidal Doesn’t Mean You’re Crazy (2012), p. 111)  Refuse to partake in the Conspiracy of Denial and tell people the truth when they make comments that perpetuate the Conspiracy of Denial. Listen to more about the Conspiracy of Denial at www.americanheroesnetwork.com (Sept. 3, 2013 broadcast). References 1 National Center for Injury Prevention and Control. (WISQARS): www.cdc.gov/ncipc/wisqars                                                                              2 http://forums.psychcentral.com/depression/10363-coping-suicide-ideation.html                                                                                                   3 Center for Disease Control and Prevention,  http://www.cdc.gov/ace/findings.htm                                                                                            4 http://forums.psychcentral.com/depression/65258-suicidal-ideation.html                                                                                                           5 Jensen, R. 2012. Just Because You’re Suicidal Doesn’t Mean You’re Crazy: The Psychobiology of Suicide.                                                 6http://www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_help.htm                                                                                                                                               7http://my.clevelandclinic.org/healthy_living/stress_management/hic_warning_signs_of_emotional_stress_when_to_see_your_doctor.aspx   “Just Because You’re Suicidal Doesn’t Mean You’re Crazy: The Psychobiology of Suicide” – Download to your E-reader or as PDF to your computer at               http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/209400                 more info at www.jsp3.org                                                                                             

My apologies to those who read my last blog which was the same as the one before. I’m still new at this…  My good friend just told me she is paralyzed with malaise. This is much the same situation I had just revealed to her. I sit here, with her in mind, wondering the same exact thing she tells me she wonders. I’d give almost anything to know what causes this overwhelming malaise. And along with it, of course, is that indescribable pain that we keep trying to describe, though nobody but another who has it seems to be able to understand it. When anyone wants to know about the pain, I tell them, “on the worst day of the worst flu you’ve ever had, when your hair, your fingernails and your skin hurt and your bones down deep ache like you’d swear they were disintegrating…that’s what it feels like most days.” And then again there is the malaise. Why does it flare like it does?  It does not seem to matter whether you have big plans (goals to look forward to) or little inconsequential plans (no big deals going on) or none at all (no stress to get anything done). It happens whether I just finished a big stressful project (exhaustion from relief of putting forward a huge effort) or just returned from fantastic time off (let down from a lot of downtime back to up tempo living). You never stop struggling to figure it out. And there is always someone who will try to help you by telling you to reduce your stress. There is only one way not to have stress in your life but that way is totally incompatible with life itself. At one time I thought it was that I had too much too look forward to, too many plans piled on top of each other.  So I got rid of some of those onerous plans and I still felt the same way. Maybe I felt incompetent to get targeted things done. Perhaps I didn’t have the expertise to do it completely or sufficiently. To counter that possibility, I began developing a cadre of competent advisors and confidants who I could rely on to help me. I still felt the same malaise. Apparently even knowing who to call did not prompt me to call. Then I thought, could it be that I am tired of life? Could I really be saying, “I don’t want to be here anymore and I’m bored with it all?” That’s suicidal talk if I ever heard it. But I’ve been suicidal before and seriously so. Being suicidal from age 8 to 32 is seriously, majorly suicidal. I am an expert on feeling suicidal. After all, I am a suicidologist, I have overcome it and I write books on how to overcome it like Just Because You’re Suicidal Doesn’t Mean You’re Crazy: The Psychobiology of Suicide and the next book to come, CPR for Suicidal People. Moreover, I know contemplating suicide is only an effort to make a person feel better. It is a simple and effective coping mechanism as I explain on my website, https://www.jsp3.org. Contemplating freedom from every daunting and incomprehensible problem promises peace and nothingness. But I know I want to live – I just don’t want this pain and malaise. Feeling suicidal can strip you of energy and desire. But I have desire. I have tons of desire. I have so much desire it eats me up. I don’t have to kill myself because it kills me just sitting here contemplating what I cannot get up and do. It sounds like “depression” says my mental health counselor self. Well, this is not depression as noted in the bible of mental health disorders, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders.  I laugh at funny things. I sleep well. My appetite has not changed. I don’t feel like dying. I’m not persistently sad. I do things I have committed to do. I do my volunteer work and get plenty of satisfaction from it for as long as that lasts, which does not seem very long. But what I am is tired and in pain and I am bored of it. I am on the only regime of pain medication that can be done at this time. The pain is tolerable. I simply do not understand it. I have a mission in life – I know what I want to do, what I feel I am called to do. I have hundreds of unfinished undertakings. People are right in that pain can be exacerbated by stress and emotional upset. And joy is antithetical to pain. But life is stress. You can’t avoid it. In order to try to mitigate the effect of pain, one must intervene on life’s stress by probing into possible sources of stress. Now comes the existential questioning. What in my life has given me pause to go forward?… What has disillusioned me so much that I cannot move towards my own goals?… What has given me the idea there may be no point in going forward? …What has happened and how am I interpreting it?… Has anything happened that has not happened before or has taken me by surprise and destabilized me? Well, let’s see… doubt and financial insecurity…disappointed currently by unrealized expectations…disappointing news and loss of some opportunities considered integral to my ongoing plan of achievement… questioning my overall achievement plan as to its viability…my new diagnosis of glaucoma and celiac disease and a notice that a dear and long-time friend has cancer. Well, let’s see…I guess if I were to be my own counselor, I could see why I might feel stymied and “dead in the water” (maybe an unfortunate use of metaphor). But these stresses are part of life. To avoid them is to avoid life itself.  There will be thwarted goals. There will always be inner questioning. There will be unfortunate news. Well, I have discovered some things, but still I have no definitive answers. I owe myself 100 bucks for professional consultation. Pay up. This is a cash business. And, not so dang amazingly, I do feel better even though there was no resolution. Life is like that sometimes.